Nurturing at Mealtime

Most people like to eat. All people have to eat. Parents have to provide food for their children. The general consensus is: sitting down for meals together is good for more than just maintaining physical well being, but do we give it much more thought beyond get food on the table, get people to the table, make sure everyone eats the food? Honestly, that's how I feel most of the time. So, today I'd like to talk about making mealtime more meaningful (and I don't mean preparing mutiple course meals every night. Hear me out).

Julie B. Beck once wrote:

A good nurturer carries power and influence. The Latin word nutrire, from which the English word nurture originates, means "to suckle or nourish," or, in the full interpretation, "to feed, foster, care for, or rear." True power is found in the hands of a worthy nurturer, especially at mealtimes.

As a young mother I did not fully understand my power as a nurturer. Though we were a busy family, I considered everyone's presence at dinnertime nonnegotiable. It was our most consistent gathering time, and everyone planned to eat together before going on to other activities.

I learned of the influence of my nurturing when our youngest daughter wrote in a college paper: "Dinner in our home was not just an eating ritual, but a special time for the family to communicate and to share our thoughts and stories of the day. … We often sat together for over an hour as we savored the conversation as much as the food."

I thought I was just cooking casseroles and soup. But I had created the venue, the reason to gather. Because I prepared a meal to share with my family, something special happened. It was a simple process, and our style changed with the ages of our children. When they were young we could discuss a picture.... When they were older we asked more questions and shared experiences. Over the years our children grew and matured, and we loved each other.

Mothers, who are "primarily responsible for the nurture of their children," can be a powerful force for strengthening families when they use mealtimes to gather loved ones. (Ensign, December 2005)


Though I do believe that mothers are primarily responsible for this, I'd like to point out that it doesn't say she is solely responsible. Perhaps she is the one to prepare the meal and thereby "create the venue", but everyone can and should participate (more than just shoveling the food). This participation is what can make your mealtimes successful. Having said that, take this week to try it out:

Make Your Meals a Time for Nurturing

Think or talk with other family members about ways your family could make meals a time for nurturing. (This could be a subject in Family Council!) Think about the way your meals are right now and imagine what they could be with a little fixing. Perhaps this means you need to start having meals together. If you already do this it could mean inventing ways to have a meaningful experience. Maybe this means turning off the television. Consider who you are trying to nurture. If you have children, they are probably your primary target. What could you do to make mealtime more enjoyable for them? In my home, mealtime can end up feeling more like a war than a time for fostering loving relationships. So personally, I'd like to come up with a way to make sure everyone is eating, but also enjoying time spent together. If it you have older children or no children, it could mean coming to dinner with something to talk about. Think about it beforehand. That way you won't be tempted to sit down and have the same dead-end conversations:
--"How was your day?"
--"Fine."
--"Do anything special?"
--"Nope"
--crunch crunch--gulp gulp--















Some ideas:

• use music to create an environment


• make the table look nice or nicer (so everyone will start to think of daily meals as a special time)


• with little kids, display a new picture or object to look at and talk about


• invite a visitor into your home for dinner


• create a jar of conversation ideas


• come with jokes to tell


• have a different family member be in charge of the subject of conversation each night


• discuss world events (this requires being current with the news)


• tell stories (real-life, personal, fictitious, hilarious, family history, inspirational, or whatever else)


• improve the food you eat


• have children help prepare the food when appropriate (this also helps them want to eat it)


• require everyone to stay until the meal is finished (recognize that the meal isn't over until everyone is done)


• share the load of cleaning up afterwards


• practice showing gratitude to those who prepared the food


• have a theme to your meal


• eat your meal somewhere different (on the floor in the living room, in your tree fort, at the local park, at the picnic table on your porch)


• play a game during the meal (one that doesn't require much more than your minds)