Family Goals Part 2 of 2

Building on what we mentioned yesterday, a family is not a Family without goals. So as you’ve spent some time thinking about your own Family, what did you discover? Do you have goals set? Are you together striving for something? Or do you remain a house full of people living together, all with different intents (or worse, no intent at all)?
Whatever your answer to the above questions, now is never too late a time to begin setting a path for your family.

--Now, let us be clear that the path a Family travels has to be a community consensus and effort. Do not think that any one individual can set goals for the entirety of the Family. An individual sets goals only for the individual. Only together, as a united voice, can the direction of the Family truly be set.--

So step 1 in establishing a direction for your family is to call a Family Council (click the link here to revisit last Sunday’s post about organizing a Family Council). Everyone needs to be asked for input. Don’t immediately call everyone together, however, and ask for the family’s direction to be determined. That’s like waking someone--let’s say me--up in the middle of the night and asking for directions to some place I’ve never been. The result would be mainly useless and unintelligible vocal strainings with some vague hand gestures thrown in, and the appearance of the participants--myself again--would be less than enthused and more than exhausted. So call the Family together and let everyone know that you’d like to establish some goals/destinations for the Family. Let them know that you are meant for great accomplishments as a Family, but that they’ll only be realized collectively. Then let everyone ponder on this and set a time and date when you will meet together again.
Step 2 is to meet together again. Now some may come with ideas written down, some may come with ideas in their head, some may come and you’ll just be happy they came, but however their preparation, the fact alone that notice was given carries a lot of weight in establishing unity in the home and showing that everyone’s opinions are valued equally. Make sure that when you meet there are no distractions. Turn off the TV or loud music, or any other function in the home. Here you have met to focus and determine where your Family is headed and how you’ll get there--a hurdler can hardly prepare for his next track meet by standing on the track and watching TV.
Have paper and pens ready for any without and distribute them so that everyone has the wherewithal to follow along and take notes that may be of interest to them. Again this is a token to encourage participation and also to show how seriously these goals are to be taken.
Step 3 is to discuss everyone’s ideas of how your Family can rise to great heights. Be sure that you encourage everyone in their individual goals, but keep a wary eye and ear out so that you focus on goals for the Family as a collective and not a lot of separate individual goals. Let the ideas fly. Don’t say no to anything, just write everything down and keep going until everyone has exhausted everything they have brought. Once it’s all out there, then move on to Step 4.
Step 4. Begin to tailor the ideas that have been given. Combine ideas that are similar and really sift the ideas down to their essentials.
--All goal setting is really a matter of a few essentials anyways. When we set goals we are really setting one great goal for different aspects of our lives (vacation, hobbies, education, vocation, home, spiritual, etc) and then determining upon a number of smaller goals to get us there. In this way our small goals lead us to crest our ‘mountain’s top’ and then realize that what was our great goal has now become a realized step toward an even greater goal.--
You are herein determining where the most important places are for your Family to go. I don’t begin to presume I know what is best or what each family needs. Ours are ideas only and we hope that they may help some few people. We have goals, but we do not expect them to be anyone else’s. So freely decide what, for the present, is most important for you as a family. It is probably best to find a few goals that everyone can agree on. By doing this you make it easier for your Family to strive toward these goals rather than spreading yourselves too thin by trying to accomplish too much.
Step 5. Make sure everyone has agreed on the list and then announce them. Make a formal declarative reminder to everyone that these are the things we’ve determined (for the present) are the destinations we will be striving to reach. Allow this to be a time to thank all the participants and help everyone feel valued and contributory.
Step 6. Write the goals down. If you’re not going to make the effort to officially record the goals anywhere then you might as well forget about them. Without such a small effort as this would require, the greater effort required to accomplish the goals is certainly outside any realm of possibility. A goal that goes without being written down is nothing more than a fanciful wish and will only be accomplished as a wish (by chance and genie).
Step 7. Provide a copy of the goals to everyone. What they do with those copies will be up to them, but then make sure that the goals are also posted in places where they can be seen and remembered. The fridge seems a frequented enough location in every home.
Step 8. Meet together often to discuss your progress and to set smaller ‘stepping stone’ goals to help you achieve the greater goals. As I mentioned before, we strive for great things, but achieve them through small and simple means.

Take this all, please, with a grain of salt. We don’t know a lot about goals, but we have been trying to profit from them, and we find them an essential step in realizing the greatness of a Family. Otherwise, when we do find ourselves plugging along with no real goals, we realize life is much more tedious and much less inspired than when we all work together for something great. Now I bid you adieu, for my 2 year old is currently striving for something great on his own--the cookie jar on top of the counter!