There is a word in the dictionary that comes about 187 pages in, and can be found sandwiched between famliarize and family planning. You can have the following blank space of time to go find out what it is, or simply proceed to the latter end of the blank and I’ll tell you.………………………………………………………………............................................................................
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Okay, you ready? The word is: Family!
Now there’s a reason that we have need of this particular term, family. If you were to simply take me, my wife, and my children all you’d have is a house full of people living together. The very fact that we have an extra term for me, my wife, and my children testifies to what we already know: The whole is more than the sum of its parts. Family is something greater than just me, my wife, and my children. We’ll have to deconstruct this quickly before we can continue to my main point:
A family cannot simply mean blood relatives because adoption qualifies for family. Nor can family mean those living under one roof, for my roommates in college were never my family, all-the-while my parents who lived 12 hours away continued to be. Could family possibly be so simple as a unit in which the characters of Father, Mother, and children have been designated? Again a household of these characters, albeit identified, is merely a house full of people going by different titles. Do certain functions of those characters define family? As if anyone could engineer a family robotically? I hardly think so. While the dictionary does a mighty job in recognizing Family, it finally fails to really grasp its profundity. So what does Family refer to? Why do you feel that your family is more than the simple definitions herein recited?
Family is a choice you make.
Let that sink in.
Family is a choice you make, and you must make it every day.
Now doesn’t that sound a little closer to the truth than those other definitions? I think it does, and I think I enjoy it because (well other than the fact that it just rings true in my heart) it honors the work that I put into my Family. It means family is more than an accident, or more than something that can be built out of pieces and then left there like some model airplane to adore. Family only remains Family according to the choices we make everyday. Family is about something greater than each of us as individuals. Family is going great places. There is something about Family that seems to whisper “this is life’s pinnacle.”
I have no great transition here, so I’m just going to say it: Because Family is a choice, Family infers goal setting. To this end I request allowance to relate a little analogy.
Imagine a man aimlessly wandering around a bar (if you don’t frequent bars—I don’t—I’m sure you’ve seen movies where the characters frequent bars and you can imagine the man wandering around that bar. Why not that lovely bar from Cheers!). In this man’s hand is a collection of darts. At various intervals he throws the darts. He throws them all over, in every direction. Naturally we’d think he was crazy, but more than that we’d see a man spending a lot of his energy achieving nothing. Every now and again he would pass by the dartboard (because from every movie I’ve seen, bars always have dartboards), and so every now and again he might successfully hit the target and score some points. The majority of the time, however, he’s throwing into the air and getting nothing for it other than tired.
Now if that same man will face the dartboard and throw, consistently focusing on that dartboard, he’s much more likely to hit it. What’s more, he’ll get better at hitting it the more he focuses and the more he tries. Eventually he will throw bullseyes the majority of the time.
The result of goal setting is a near mirror image of the analogy. If we have no goals, then our actions are not intended for anything. We’re wandering around life throwing our efforts aimlessly and getting nothing but tired. Sure every now and again we may realize something great, albeit unintentionally, but it will never be as great as it could have been had we focused. Rather than being followed by more success, we will find ourselves once again hitting dead air, tiring out on our walk around this bar called life.
If we wander around our homes with no real goals for our family, then we’ll feel tired most of the time. Every now and again we’ll strike upon some elation that reminds us why family is great, but the elation will quickly pass into mist and darkness, fatigue and malcontent. Family is either a blessing or a burdening house full of people; it has to be one or the other and we have to make that choice ourselves.
So ask yourself, are there goals for your family? Are you consciously determining that your family will be more than just a houseful of people pursuing different ends, all living together. Just think about the necessity of goals in family life and tomorrow we’ll give you all of our thoughts about goal setting in the family.
Now there’s a reason that we have need of this particular term, family. If you were to simply take me, my wife, and my children all you’d have is a house full of people living together. The very fact that we have an extra term for me, my wife, and my children testifies to what we already know: The whole is more than the sum of its parts. Family is something greater than just me, my wife, and my children. We’ll have to deconstruct this quickly before we can continue to my main point:
A family cannot simply mean blood relatives because adoption qualifies for family. Nor can family mean those living under one roof, for my roommates in college were never my family, all-the-while my parents who lived 12 hours away continued to be. Could family possibly be so simple as a unit in which the characters of Father, Mother, and children have been designated? Again a household of these characters, albeit identified, is merely a house full of people going by different titles. Do certain functions of those characters define family? As if anyone could engineer a family robotically? I hardly think so. While the dictionary does a mighty job in recognizing Family, it finally fails to really grasp its profundity. So what does Family refer to? Why do you feel that your family is more than the simple definitions herein recited?
Family is a choice you make.
Let that sink in.
Family is a choice you make, and you must make it every day.
Now doesn’t that sound a little closer to the truth than those other definitions? I think it does, and I think I enjoy it because (well other than the fact that it just rings true in my heart) it honors the work that I put into my Family. It means family is more than an accident, or more than something that can be built out of pieces and then left there like some model airplane to adore. Family only remains Family according to the choices we make everyday. Family is about something greater than each of us as individuals. Family is going great places. There is something about Family that seems to whisper “this is life’s pinnacle.”
I have no great transition here, so I’m just going to say it: Because Family is a choice, Family infers goal setting. To this end I request allowance to relate a little analogy.
Imagine a man aimlessly wandering around a bar (if you don’t frequent bars—I don’t—I’m sure you’ve seen movies where the characters frequent bars and you can imagine the man wandering around that bar. Why not that lovely bar from Cheers!). In this man’s hand is a collection of darts. At various intervals he throws the darts. He throws them all over, in every direction. Naturally we’d think he was crazy, but more than that we’d see a man spending a lot of his energy achieving nothing. Every now and again he would pass by the dartboard (because from every movie I’ve seen, bars always have dartboards), and so every now and again he might successfully hit the target and score some points. The majority of the time, however, he’s throwing into the air and getting nothing for it other than tired.
Now if that same man will face the dartboard and throw, consistently focusing on that dartboard, he’s much more likely to hit it. What’s more, he’ll get better at hitting it the more he focuses and the more he tries. Eventually he will throw bullseyes the majority of the time.
The result of goal setting is a near mirror image of the analogy. If we have no goals, then our actions are not intended for anything. We’re wandering around life throwing our efforts aimlessly and getting nothing but tired. Sure every now and again we may realize something great, albeit unintentionally, but it will never be as great as it could have been had we focused. Rather than being followed by more success, we will find ourselves once again hitting dead air, tiring out on our walk around this bar called life.
If we wander around our homes with no real goals for our family, then we’ll feel tired most of the time. Every now and again we’ll strike upon some elation that reminds us why family is great, but the elation will quickly pass into mist and darkness, fatigue and malcontent. Family is either a blessing or a burdening house full of people; it has to be one or the other and we have to make that choice ourselves.
So ask yourself, are there goals for your family? Are you consciously determining that your family will be more than just a houseful of people pursuing different ends, all living together. Just think about the necessity of goals in family life and tomorrow we’ll give you all of our thoughts about goal setting in the family.
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