Three Things

1. You can't prove God exists.
2. You can't prove that the joys of marriage are more than the emotion of courtship.
3. You can't prove that a family is the greatest blessing in the world.


But if you know that these things are true, then a lack of palpable evidence does not invalidate your convictions. Evidence is preferred by the masses, but it is not a requirement for truth. A simple lack of evidence did not negate the existence of the atom, nor of individual blood cells. They have always existed, but we now have evidence for the world to see, so the world accepts.
Now, I have not written this to tell anyone that they are right or wrong, but rather as an observation that I've recently run into. Yes, I have a personal conviction of God, but that does not mean that I expect the same from anyone else. I glory in our individual freedom to choose and to believe that which we will. I move on, however, to assume that those frequenting this site are those interested in the joys of the family and of marriage. To that end I will speak as if any contrary opinions are less valid.
The main incidence that drove me to this realization (the incidence then let me out and kept driving, and I've been musing here ever since) was a conversation I had with one of my coworkers. We are pretty good friends and have a lot in common. We can talk at lengths about our ambitions for greater things, and about our similar criticisms of the world of music. I, however, am a boy with a family. He is a gentleman on the cusp of getting married with no immediate plans for enlarging the couple. --Now again, there is nothing wrong with just being a couple. There is never a 3 or 4 or so on until you first put 1 and 1 together and get that couple.-- So he and I were catching up one day, just shooting the breeze and talking about what we'd been doing. Everything he told me about I could relate to: eating great food, hanging with friends (though with two little kids I can relate to this less and less sadly), recent films he'd seen, what was going on in his department at work, wedding plans, etc. I had a great time listening and we laughed as he related funny stories. The realization then came when I told him about my wild adventures: cleaning up a lot of good food that had been thrown on the floor, hanging out with one toddler and an infant (sounds like a campy sitcom), recent episodes of Curious George I'd seen, what was going on in my department at work, babysitting plans, etc. Rather than the merriment and laughter we'd had before, I was the only one laughing. It was kind of awkward and my side of the conversation didn't last long because I realized that the joy of family life is transcendent. It's not an understanding that can be passed horizontally from one to another. If you don't have children or aren't anxious to have them, it's difficult to understand what the rest of us 'crazies' must see in it. I have no evidence to provide for its joys. I have a lot of crayon drawings on the wall, diapers, late nights, etc... but if I weren't a part of this family I don't know that I would understand it either. My family is one of my greatest joys, but I have no way of explaining that or truly communicating it. If you're there, then you know what I'm talking about. But those standing outside the box who are only ever willing to look in, can only see bits and pieces as they move from peephole to peephole. Family is so much greater than the bits and pieces you can relate. So that was my realization, and I love my family. I love my friend too, he's great, and hey . . . he led me to a great realization. I'll have to tell him.


As for what I alluded to with marriage and the emotion of courtship. It's just that I had another realization (I may have had something other than a realization, but with my limited diction it's hard to say--thesaurus?). All movies and songs and music videos, etc. (with a few rare exceptions) like--no love--relating those moments of high emotional love. They talk of courtship, or great dramatic breakups, or reunions, or losses, or anything and everything else that makes our hearts well up within us. They can hardly be faulted, however, because the everyday characteristics of love and marriage are hardly communicable. Again, the knowledge that a marriage is so much more than that emotion alone is transcendent; it is communicated vertically from some higher place rather than crossways from person to person. How much fun would it be to watch a dramatic movie about a couple planning, budgeting, saving, shopping, and finally going on vacation together? Not quite Titanic huh?
I mean I wouldn't even be that interested in watching a play by play of anyone's marriage. The joy of marriage is personal, but I repeat that it is more than the emotion alone. Too many divorces occur because a couple finds that those emotional highs aren't quite what they were before. C.S. Lewis explains it simply this way: (I'm not directly quoting by-the-way, merely summarizing): you don't put food in your mouth, savor the flavor, and then spit it out if the flavor dissipates. Such an action would be an abomination. You wouldn't last long. Eating is so much more than just the joy of flavor. It is the joy of energy. It is the joy of strength. It is a great many things, including work. All the same, we would never think of spitting out that food after the initial flavor is gone. We enjoy the energy it provides and enjoy the flavor again the next time we eat. Crudely, thus is marriage. The emotion of courtship is but the tip of the iceberg and we unfortunately miss out on the greatest relationship life offers if we keep giving up when that emotion is gone (just as we'd fall over stone dead if we stopped eating just because the food made us sick once).
But what am I saying, none of this can really be communicated crossways anyways right? If you know it, you know it.