Friday's Family

I met them almost 5 years ago.

--Not sure why I was nervous to meet them.

From the very beginning, even though it was early in the morning after a long drive up I-15 with a car full of college boys (what was it? 4am?) I found my link to this family more than pleasurable.

There were 8 of them then. They've almost doubled in size since. But something almost magical pulls in each member and new member alike, holding them tightly together.

Maybe it's the sheer number of them. Maybe it's the conglomeration of particularly pleasing personalities. Maybe it's the fact that they have a real knack for croquet. Whatever it is, they have fun.

You'll find at the helm 2 devoted parents -somewhat sentimental, very thoughtful, and always aware of their children. They have made many sacrifices for their children, but I wonder if they ever saw any of it as sacrifice. The reward: children who think the world of their mom and dad.

I've been struck by how much their life as a family is molded by traditions... really good traditions (probably explains why they're such a good family). A lot of traditions are solely for enjoyment, even the memory of which brings a smile (ask my husband). Others are for the social, mental, spiritual, and physical shaping and strengthening of all involved. The result: 6 caring, kind, faithful children-turned adults.

Perhaps it was unwise to begin this Friday tradition with a family of this caliber- could be difficult to find another. I'm sure we will find a lovely family for next Friday, but this family is special to me. They are one of my prime examples for how I'd like my family to be. I feel blessed to have been pulled into their circle. Meet Doug and Cheryl and their family:

My Questions/Cheryl's Answers:

How would you introduce your family to a stranger?

This is surprisingly a hard one to answer. I guess for me, our family just is. We’re the Mitchell’s, all eight of us and now we’ve added in-laws and grandchildren. But if someone were to ask me to describe who we are I’d answer this way. We are all so very different, starting with the parents. Here are two people who if they had signed up on one of those idiotic computer dating systems, would never have been matched up. Doug is quiet, reflective, laid back and very, very calm. Thank goodness, because Cheryl is noisy, stubborn, tense and not very calm at all. And yet it has worked for over 28 years. And then we added children to our gang. First came Patrick, dark haired and brown-eyed. People often told us he would have made a beautiful girl. Sorry about that, Patrick. He was the perfect first child because he was so easy to get along with and didn’t mind that he had two untrained adults taking care of him. And then along came Jordan, red haired and blue-eyed. I always had the feeling that people thought Patrick was mine from a first marriage because he so didn’t look like his dad as Jordan did. Jordan has the tenderest heart and would give you the shirt off his back. And he always looked up to his big brother. Then we got our beautiful daughters Rebekkah and Maran. Becky has brown hair and blue eyes and Maran is a brunette with brown eyes. Rebekkah was named from the Old Testament but since we didn’t have a bible in the hospital, we mistakenly gave her 2 k’s in her name. But we like this version of the name. And Maran was named after a character in a book I had read years before she was born. My favorite story about her name was a middle school teacher who had so much trouble remembering how to pronounce it that he told her he was going to call her ‘Marinated chicken’. After awhile he cut out the chicken and then finally he could call her just Maran. Zach is our fifth child and he also has red hair and brown eyes. He also has the most incredible sense of humor. He is a quiet boy but when he zings you, you know you’ve been zinged by the best. Brady is what I call our changeling child. He looks like no one in the immediate family! He has strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes. Brady also has been gifted with math skills that continue to amaze us. Our family doctor once told us that our family totally threw Mendel’s theory about inheriting traits from our parent’s right out the window!

What makes your family unique?

I guess the differences I listed above could qualify for what makes us unique. And I guess the fact that Doug and I are still married after 28 years is also unique. Many of our children’s school friends are in blended families. And also the fact that our children have lived in only 2 homes while they were growing up is quite unique in this transient world. Brady told me that his friends are amazed that he has only lived in one home all his life. Some people might call us boring but I prefer to call it stable! Another thing I just thought of is that although Doug and I are both right-handed we have 3 left-handed children! That’s pretty unique. And the fact that our entire family really, really, really loves the movie ‘Scared Stiff’ with Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. That is definitely unique.

What are some things your family likes to do together?

This has changed over the years as our family grew. Now we like to play card games and watch movies in the family room. When the kids were younger we (meaning Doug and I) loved to watch our children interact. They were so funny and did such great things. We have a video of the 3 oldest using tennis rackets as guitars and singing along to Johnny-Be-Good! This video is a priceless treasure in our home! As is the video of the 3 youngest joyfully jumping off the table until Brady decided to break his fall with his face! We also went camping as a family. That was always interesting. But we never lost anyone and we never got poison ivy! Yeah!

What are your family’s favorite traditions?

We have a lot of traditions that have evolved over the years. On Labor Day we always drive up to Mount Spokane and have a picnic and then go to the top from where you can view over 10 different lakes. There was always a hike involved and climbing on fallen trees. We also went to Finch Arboretum every year for a picnic and pping pong ball races down the creek. When the kids were younger we’d bring their swimsuits and they’d get right in the creek. Around Christmas there are many traditions. We pick a night, buy doughnuts, and put cocoa in thermos’ and go look at Christmas lights. We also have a Christmas jar that we put our spare change in every year and after Thanksgiving we go buy a tree and then go out to dinner. The kids loved that. When the kids were younger they would put on the Nativity story for our neighbors. They were adorable and noisy and it was great. We also have Christmas Eve traditions that we love. There is of course the reading of the Christmas story out of Luke. Then the kids would play the movie game. Doug or I would have wrapped a new movie in newspaper multiple times, and I mean many layers of newspaper. Then the children would sit on the floor in a circle. They would take turns rolling two dice until someone rolled doubles. That person would then put on two oven mitts and using two butter knives would proceed to try to rip the paper off the movie. They would continue until someone else rolled doubles. Every year it seemed someone was cursed and couldn’t get doubles to save their lives. This happened to Maran a lot. You can tell what movies were Christmas Eve movies by the scratches on their covers! The children were also allowed to open one gift on Christmas Eve. I have a feeling that a lot of package shaking went on before hand so that they knew for sure what gift they wanted to open. We started another tradition about 8 years ago where we have a special Christmas Eve-Eve Event. This means all the family brings sleeping bags and pillows out to the Christmas Tree and settles around the tree. We then have a Muppet Marathon where we watch Muppets in Space, Muppet Treasure Island and Muppet Christmas Carol, one after another. I would like to go on record that I have stayed up for all three movies 2 years in a row. Another family tradition involves my extended family in that we always went to my Mom’s or everyone came to our house. This happened at Thanksgiving and at Christmas so that our children actually are aware of whom their cousins and aunts and uncles are, which I think is a great tradition.

What are your family’s favorite meals or just things to eat?

Our family has many favorite meals. Doug came up with what he termed ‘Dad’s Casserole’ that he served the children when I was gone. It includes macaroni, hamburger, and corn and tomato sauce. The kids love it, I am skeptical! They also love spaghetti and meatballs. This is Zach’s favorite and I try to serve it at least once when he’s home. A traditional Thanksgiving snack is meat, cheese slices and Chicken in a Biscuit crackers. The boys can empty a box in one sitting. For Christmas we have to have Peanut Chewies, No-Bakes, Peanut Butter Bon-Bons, Snicker doodles and Ginger Snaps. New Year’s Eve has to include 7-layer dip, peanut butter popcorn and little smokies in a special sauce. Christmas morning I make potato latkes for anyone who will eat them, while the rest eat cold cereal. I brought this tradition from my home where my dad would make the latkes for us until we felt that we would literally burst! My dad isn’t Jewish, but latkes are a part of my heritage now.

What are your family’s favorite places?

Because we did camp a lot I think that Zion’s Camp north of Spokane was a favorite place. It was rustic, had a creek, and lots of space to roam without losing anyone! And at night when you looked up into the sky you could see a sky full of stars. We camped there a lot with our family and with our old ward.
We also love Riverside State park. In just a few minutes drive from our home you can be in a state park along a river with walking paths and trees that seem to go on forever. It’s a great camping area and perfect for day hikes.
I think for our family we also loved our backyard because it opened onto a park and included a wooded gulley area full of trees and bushes great for hiding and playing. During the winter it was the perfect place to go sledding without me worrying about too steep of a hill. We hold all our Easter egg hunts in it and had many a birthday scavenger hunt as well. Our backyard also includes a playhouse for our girls and a fort over a sandbox for our boys. We loved our backyard and have many videos of the kids playing and running and yelling and enjoying themselves there.

What are some challenges your family has experienced and what helped in getting through them?

Our first major challenge was putting Doug through college after already starting our family. He worked full time and went to school at night full time. We were short on time and money but we knew it would pay off in the end. And I truly believe that his example of sticking to it is the reason all our children have set goals to graduate from college. Doug was also serving in time consuming church capacities but we made it nonetheless!
We have also experienced a couple of unemployment challenges in the past due to economic conditions. Unemployment is very hard to endure because it is something that is totally out of your control. But Doug was one of those men who truly made looking for a new job a full-time commitment. And because we had our food storage on hand we never went without. I guess the roughest patch was during Becky’s birthday and we realized that all we could afford to buy her was a Barbie doll. That was tough. But we didn’t fall apart and we didn’t let it hurt our marriage. I tell people that our unemployment challenges were a binding element for our marriage. It wasn’t easy and we didn’t like it but we got through it.

What are some hopes/plans/goals for the future of your family?

Our major hope is to have all our families get together again soon. We want to see our grandsons again and visit and go camping and eat chocolate chip cookies and watch family videos and remind one another of funny moments. Doug and I have a goal to get completely out of debt so that we are able to help our children and their families more. And we have hopes that all our children will marry in the temple, serve missions and stay close to the Savior. That would be perfection on earth.

A Little Extra from Cheryl:

Although I know every mother thinks this, I know that Heavenly Father gave me 6 of the most choice spirits in heaven. They are sweet, funny, kind, giving, smart and wonderful children. And good-looking, that goes without saying!
I had a few extra thoughts about our family that I wanted to send. This is about the additions to our family, namely in-laws. We look forward to getting to know our son-in-law Devin better through the years, but I wanted to say a few words about our daughter-in-laws.
As a mother of four sons I often thought about the girls our boys would one day bring home and introduce to us as 'that special one'. I have to say that we couldn't have asked for better wives to our oldest sons and mothers to our grandchildren. Each has gifts and talents that amaze and delight me. They are incredible mothers who adore and cherish their children and their roles as mothers. I love that! They also love and cherish my boys and for that I thank my Father in Heaven. They are also strong women of faith and they each have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I willingly entrust to them my sons who also love and adore their wives. Life may not be easy for them and indeed both couples have already gone through trials and hardships, but with their wives and families they will do just fine, thank you!